spy

Martial Arts: Part 1 Knowing your built-in weapons

By Thomas Rye on January 22, 2010

There’s 1001 ways to hit a man, but the ones that are extremely efficient comprise a much shorter list

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Posted in Exploration & Explanation, Martial Arts | Tagged Bourne, Martial Arts, punch, spy | 5 Responses

How To: Be a Spy (10 Steps)

By Nathan on January 21, 2010

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Aston Martin DB9 ~ $170,000"][/caption]	1. CARS Drive a car that is laughably and obviously way above your government pay grade. (If indeed you are officially employed by a government.)
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Q & some Bond Gadgets"][/caption]	2. GADGETS If you happen to be a spy from the 60s or 70s, you absolutely must have an array of gadgets given to you ahead of time that end up being the following: a) the only gadgets you need other than the tools lying around you at the time, b) the exact gadgets you’ll need for incredibly specific tasks or points of danger requiring more than just the wits and dashing good looks you carry with you the rest of the time, c)each gadget must either fit inside some unassuming object (e.g. a camera case, a briefcase panel, the heel of your Italian leather shoes), be easily deconstructed and hidden, or simply appear to be a normal item of clothing (Note: you must carry with you a watch-based laser/grappling hook/mini-missile launcher or belt-based grappling hook/super-magnet)
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Jason Bourne Bank Box"][/caption]	3. IN CASE OF EMERGENCY Always have what we like to call the “MultiDuff” — a duffel bag filled with multiple passports, multiple forms of currency, multiple concealed weapons and multiple medical kits.
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Bourne: Newspaper as weapon"][/caption]	4. WEAPONS Possess the ability to assess which items in any given setting are viable weapons. Rooms of importance: kitchen, bathroom and office. (Minimum requirement: we request that you carry a very small, concealed gun)
[caption id="attachment_157" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Vesper's Death"][/caption]	5. WOMEN Stop thinking of women as meaningful pursuits and starting thinking about them as objects to be used and thrown away.
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="... and taking names"][/caption]	6. FIGHTING You must possess instinctive fighting skills that stretch across all easily conversationally recalled forms of martial arts. This recall must be instinctive, in case of unintentional amnesia.
[caption id="attachment_160" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Bourne speaks the language"][/caption]	7. THE LANGUAGE BARRIER You must be multilingual. (Note: See criteria for Fighting Skills) (Second Note: This is not required.)
[caption id="attachment_158" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Getting information, that's all"][/caption]	8. WOMEN, AGAIN Shortly after arriving at your first destination, it is important to become randomly acquainted with your muse for this mission. She must be worth destroying your career for while also being easy to forget should the need arise. Additionally, you must get close enough to her for your judgment to be clouded to the point of the mission nearly failing. Possibly muliple times. (Note: If you are a government agent and if you’re good, this can happen on the plane en route, or even at headquarters with your boss’ receptionist.)
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Vesper Martini"][/caption]	9. ALCOHOL You must recognize alcohol for what it truly is. – Be able to drink it as often as an athlete drinks water. • Possess mundane details about it (e.g. the correct temperature to serve a chilled bottle of Bollinger champagne). • Drink it without looking like you care that you’re doing so. • Know the local cultural specialty drink ahead of time. Order it often while there. • Create complicated drink orders, while gambling, that get the rest of the table to order the same thing. (Note: if this pisses off your host, count it as a win.)
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Perfect Accuracy"][/caption]	10. MARKSMANSHIP Be deadly accurate with any weapon that isn’t a sniper rifle. Despite it’s usefulness for accuracy, you need only use its scope to spy on those looking for you from across the street, or miss your target on purpose because she eventually becomes your muse (See: WOMEN, AGAIN).
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="216" caption="Madmen & henchmen"][/caption]	11. COUP DE GRAS Appear physically unassuming, sexually dominating, mentally sharp and emotionally vulnerable all while battling to stop one of three things: 1. A madman bent on world domination 2. The government agency trying to kill you 3. Your impending death at the hands of your captors

Posted in Ten Steps | Tagged bond, list, spy, top ten | 3 Responses

Top Ten: Spy Movies

By Thomas Rye on January 4, 2010

Quick List
1. Bourne Supremacy
2. Bourne Ultimatum
3. Body of Lies
4. Spy Game
5. Casino Royale
6. Bourne Identity
7. Mission: Impossible
8. The Saint
9. The Recruit
10. True Lies

I’d say I’m a spy movie junkie. I love the espionage, the con-ing, the martial arts expertise. It’s awesome! If it didn’t take years of training with no room for family or a real social life, I would probably have gone that route long ago. But alas, I didn’t, so I watch the movies to quell my desires to slip past teenaged security at Target and make my way into the “Employee Only” break room and slip someone’s lunch into my coat pocket.

These are my top choices.

Movie	The Awesome Spy (Actor)	Comments
1. Bourne Supremacy	Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) Kirill (Karl Urban)	It’s all there on this one
2. Bourne Ultimatum	Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) Desh (Joey Ansah)	Parkour on the roof and using a book with deadly force
3. Body of Lies	Roger Ferris (Leonardo DiCaprio)	Suspense at every turn. Plenty of espionage and tight situations in which DiCaprio has to rely on his stellar spy skills.
4. Spy Game	Tom Bishop (Brad Pitt)	Old spy takes promising new spy under his wing. Espionage on the field and in the office.
5. Casino Royale	James Bond (Daniel Craig)	Gadgets, Parkour, Crack shooting, amazing cars, out witting the bad guy… and of course a ripped up spy dressed to the nines.
6. Bourne Identity	Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) The Professor (Clive Owen)	Dozens of passports, Spy vs Spies, nonstop suspense
7. Mission: Impossible	Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise)	Micro-gadgets, mystery, real looking faces for disguises
8. The Saint	Simon Templar (Val Kilmer)	Multiple disguises and accents. Contraptions and specialized gear.
9. The Recruit	James Clayton (Colin Farrell)	Spy training course
10. True Lies	Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzeneggar)	Comedic elements and completely far-fetched, but tux under a wetsuit, Harrier jet, using spy resources to humiliate a used car salesman – fantastic!